Jack and The Beanstalk Tall and Short Stories

The Christmas That Santa Tried Horse – Riding

Jacqueline — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:37:12 +0000

To keep warm in the ice and snow, one Christmas, Santa tried horse – riding, though sometimes he still couldn’t go ! Although Santa and Rudolph studied how horses move as they do, it was a bit difficult, to translate this into steering on a sleigh, as around the world, the crew all flew. Captain Santa Claus had never had so much bother, getting all of the reindeers to be nice to one another. They were hardly five feet of the ground, when they started fooling around.

Since Santa’s presents were growing even more and more, Santa could hardly get through the door. So, this year, Santa wanted to be even faster than ever before … and go by horse (which turned into a disaster of course !). Santa’s gallop was more of a scallop. Rudolph slipped and slid all over the place, with Santa clinging to his neck, then zooming off into outer space ! In hte twilight, the fairy wondered if it was a tail or a moustache on Santa’s face. Moreover, when Santa finally landed in a puddle of muddle by the fence, between all twelve of them there hardly seemed to be a difference. After trying to get out of a slippy ditch, no – one could tell which end was which ! But when he wished to soar, only Rudolph’s nose became sore … He huffed and puffed, but stayed in the same place on the floor, as the weather was getting colder (the barometer already measured nearly minus four !).

Santa soon felt goofy as he tried his fastest sprints … the garden path laid a trail of his muddy hoof prints. Then BANG ! He landed in a pile of mint. The other reindeer – horses ran so quickly, Santa soon became quite sickly. In the race, their fur shone sleekly. Santa checked the map (then realised it was a Woman’s weekly !). Nor did Santa’s parade through Santatown go that well – once when Rudolph trotted off, he stumbled into a well. Gerome the gnome also fell … his head was spinning, he wondered, had it been a spell ? Everyone helped get Rudolph back on track – really hoping some nice gift or treat would fall from his sack. Regardless of whether Santa had or hadn’t really mastered the horse – riding art … he packed all the world’s presents into the horse box and set a time to depart. The countdown had begun (of course, Gerome the gnome, who’d added all the gifts to ensure there was enough was better at adding than anyone !). Better than sleigh, or even a go – kart, riding by horse was the best way to give Christmas a kick start ! (remembering that the horse didn’t need petrol, but a tart and a kick to start !).

What was needed was some tasty magic food – sprinkled with Christmas fairy icing sugar (but to ask, may have seemed rude). Mrs.Christmas agreed – abracadabra – in seconds one appeared. Rudolph chomped into a mince pie and made sure they ALL disappeared. The voltage of a few currents was miraculous – Christmas was now surely wonderous ! After a few bites of the amazing meal, tremendous energy was all he could feel. Rudolph’s nose began to light … and then the sleigh launched off in flight, leaving Santa soon feeling A – O – K Alright ! In the paddock, outside the garden shed, the Rudolph, suddenly had amazing zeal – was it the magic mince pies (which tasted of orange peel !?). There was so much magic – it made even the Snowman squeal !

In the ice cold Winters in the outer of the outside of the North Pole, there often blows a freezing wind, that keeps the embers burn in the coal. Although if you look, you’ll see nil, Jack Frost plays icicles along every windowsill. Other than Santa’s grotto and the igloo belonging to his friend, Mo, there isn’t much to do except playing in the snow. Sometimes (just to stay in bed), Santa pretends not to hear his clock alarm – then he can spend all morning tossing and turning in the warm. He shoos Gerome the gnome of to the garden shed and make a hot lemony brew from the water bottle of whiskey that he keeps hidden underneath the bed. With a spoonful of medicine and a pill, he makes a quick recovery from his Winter chill. Jumping up and down only wrecks the floorboards, it’s true – so wrapping up snugly is the only thing left to do. Santa encourages the reindeer to do just the same – for a carrot prize, he devised a game. Naturally, before long, amongst them was a championship winner (Rudolph, who else ? was two inches thinner !). Unfortunately, in the championship cup, there was sherry – so the winning party was extra – ordinairily merry ! The gnomes cracked up, in just one sup from the cracked cup and soon, eveyone gave a first prize “hiccup ! hiccup !”. Santa pinned a red rosette on Rudolph’s furry coat … then hurried off to start delivering presents, hoping Rudolph wasn’t too worn out (there was an anthem to sing, but no – one could sing a note). The Christmas that Santa entered the Grand National race, was faster than ever before – his points were so high, no – one could score ! Santa being a jockey was really a year to remember – they played polo all December. A lucky horse shoe was his souvenir … and something warm on the ground (which Mrs. Christmas said he shouldn’t go near).

The Christmas that Santa learned to horse race, there were footprints in the snow, all over the place ! As Santa ran around the farmyard and back, there was a trail of size nines, making a Pennines track. Nine had always been Santa’s favourite number – because after nine hours sleep, he arose from slumber. When the nights became dark and grim – Santa sat by the medals polishing the medals … remembering when he (not his chances !) were slim.

Rumba ! Rumba ! Santa’s Favourite Pen – 9′s Number !

At 999, 999 mph, boy, Rudolph could go ! so (despite the snow), it was hardly a surprise that Santa won a prize called “The Best Reindeer In Reindeers”.

Devise 10 sums that all include the number 9.

The Christmas That Gerome The Gnome Spent Hanging Around

Jacqueline — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:36:11 +0000

All seriously Santa freaky folk know, that Christmas in Santaland is full of boxed up surprises, from which, when unravelled, happiness arises. This includes Mrs. Christmas’s bread bin and cake box (some say, better for storing mince tarts than old socks !). Her mince could have been used to plaster the ceiling – it stuck her apron to her skirt and made it much less revealling. Her pastry cases were like flying saucers, except they couldn’t fly usual UFO oughta. Gone were the days when her tarts crumbled and fell apart – with a lucky sixpence from the Christmas fairy’s purse, Christmas was sure to be yummy from the start. One particular Christmas when Santa really got stuck in, was the year when Mrs. Christmas decided to bake twice as many mince pies as usual … and everyone began to tuck in ! Gerome the gnome, however, could hardly wait for all the cookin’ ! He pinched one steaming on the table, just as the custard got creaming and was beginning to melt the ladle. Even without a scoop, the mince pie was so hot, Gerome looped – de – loop ! waking every single pigeon in the chicken coop ! (whether they were asleep or not !). Santa was only meant to be pinning the advent calendar on the wall, but he knocked the hammer so hard, that a hole appeared into the hall. Through the side of the kitchen fridge, he could see three rashers of bacon and a lump of lard. Gerome the gnome was holding the ladder secure – soon wondering what all the commotion was for. As the cement began to further crumble, from off the step ladders, Santa took a tumble. His eyesight was so poor, he wasn’t sure if he was hammering the war, the ceiling or the floor ! But Santa continued hammering regardlessly … making five holes, where there should have been three. After just one afternoon, Santa had clearly displaced a knife, fork and spoon. His favourite elf (quite a scholar), was found nailed to the bookshelf (by his collar !). No wonder studies were becoming rather tough – the elf spent two lessons trying to reach a book twice as big as himself ! Loosely – speaking, the busiest elves, had to be loosened themselves. So Mrs. Christmas came up with an idea – to use some of her cake mixture (saying it would last probably until next year !). With all the icing sugar Mrs. Christmas used, none of the light switches worked and two of the bulbs fused. Soon, Santa’s decorations were strung together like a kebab – as Gerome the Gnome moved sideways around the grotto looking like a crab ! Santa’s diary showed clearly how tied up they all were … but no – one expected to be tied up in cardboard, glue, wood, nails, paper and string ! As Gerome the gnome tried to get untrapped, the shelf flapped and Santa’s patience finally snapped. Gerome tottered next to the crockery … then smashed a piece of Mrs. Christmas’s pottery (he called for help from the elf fishing in the rockery). Gerome the gnome had always wanted to be on the best seat at the table – this year, getting up to do the washing up, was something he was unable. Santa thought they’d be better with cable ! Being nailed to the settee did have advantages (if you liked the film on channel three !). Because Christmas Eve was stuck to Boxing Day, there was even less time for Santa to get away – it was the quickest holiday ever spent (though the landlord didn’t expect any less rent !). © Jacqueline Richards 2009

The Christmas That Supper Gate – Crashed

Jacqueline — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:35:06 +0000

On his regular tour of Santaland, Santa’s robin sometimes didn’t land at all – in fact, he was happiest two thousand feet above the ground, where he could only just see the garden wall. There often isn’t time to stop – as one by one the presents drop and drop. One particularly memorable Christmas, Santa huffed and puffed with all his might, as the sleigh swerved around the corner, quickly in mid flight. The reindeers floated their way through clouds that seemed to be made of double cream – with sugar coated raindrops : a robin’s greatest dream ! The sleigh knew the way all by itself – guided to a landing by candles put out by the elf. The garden path made an excellent flight path … but no – one said anything about a bird bath ! Back in the grotto, Santa usually kept his parrot in a golden cage, by the television, where it spent hours learning the lyrics to all the programmes – three feet taller than the fireplace, tapping his two feet .. until one Christmas the parrot decided that it would like a race and quickly worked up a heat. Being magical, it didn’t take too many flaps for them to be zooming off into outer space. As they headed off over hills towards the horizon, they spent so long watching the weather, no one noticed that each parrot dropped a feather (must have been travelling at quite a pace !). Santa’s parrot had always marvelled at the crows. They too admired the parrot’s colourful feathers – just like sleigh’s packages – each present adorned in bows. Whilst shake, rattle and roll was being played on the stereo, everyone headed off in a rush – soon to be covered in snowy slush. All the gnomes cheered – who would be quickest around the grotto – how fast ? how slow ? how high ? how low ? No wonder Rudolph’s nose was beginning to glow ! Needless to say, amidst all of this admiring, no one saw the Christmas tree decorations – and they all crashed into the wiring ! It really should have been the altitude about which they were so inquiring. Outside, in even more of a spin, Jupiter closer and closer loomed. Then a quick left and towards Mars the sleigh zoomed. Although Santa’s parrot tried to duck, in a fir branch he quickly got stuck (right above the gift wrapped truck). Baubles splattered everywhere, most of the pine needles landed on the chair ! A few underneath the table, even more outside in the reindeers’ stable. That evening, when Santa sat down to eat … three stuck neat in his feet ! As tinsel glittered, the room became littered. When the parrot crashed into her mince pies, she became even more embittered. The parrot didn’t mean to be so rude, when into the Christmas fairy he accidentally cruised, leaving her head spinning and her elbow bruised. If only the parrot had been a little more clairvoyant, to see danger coming, then the tree wouldn’t haven’t been so bouyant. But when asked, what his ideal gift would be, a sleigh ride with Santa was the parrrot’s greatest wish – number one, then, PAZAZZ !, the wish was done. So the same problem didn’t happen again, the following year, Santa gave the parrot an aeroplane. © Jacqueline Richards 2009

Santa’s Trip To The *** Jeweler’s Shop

Jacqueline — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:33:37 +0000

In Santaland, where Winters are often cold and dull, jewels are very much needed, to make celebrations wonderful. One particularly sparkling Christmas, Santa was enjoying spending his time flying over *** jewelers, when he heard the town hall clock chime. He was getting late – to get all the way around the world, he would have to quickly accelerate. Naturally, at *** jewelery shop, there was eveything size shape, sort of present indeed. To make sure that Christmas succeeded, a visit to *** was what was really needed ! Rudolph piled expensive presents so high on his sleigh, that soon it wouldn’t move and they couldn’t fly away. Even the police couldn’t get the wheels to budge (probably because they were scoffing rather a large box of fudge !). Santa always knows how to save the day – giving the sleigh a hefty boot so forwards and backwards it did sway. When Santa’s sleigh crashes, lightening flashes – Santa heads off over the rooftops, in his usual kind of dashes. At Midnight, high above ***, the temperature dropped to minus ten – Gerome the gnome dropped a bagful (and had to pick them up again !). Santa’s trip to the *** jewelry shop is one of his favourite indeed – there are gems of every type that a Christmas fairy could ever possibly need. Although she was only three inches tall, her diamond studded dress meant she could be seen clearly from the other side of the hall. The gnomes, of course, loved emeralds in shiny green – their party hats were the most glittering that had ever been. But Funky Fred (a friendly fellow), preferred a precious stone that was yellow. Ethelred (the blushing gnome), like rubies which he hid all around his home. Santa too loved rubies, red and diamond white – to suit his suit and make thier journey well lit, at night. He confused the amber jewels with a traffic light ! Gerome the gnome said blue ones were best – he kept a handful of shiny saphirres in the pocket of his vest. When he sneezed, he had to take care, to make sure his Christmas present from *** wasn’t splattered everywhere ! He said, in limerick “thank you”, as they flew, “These are the most perfect jewels that he ever knew !”. After many years of flying by the light of the Moon, Rudolph agreed moonstone would match his fur coat nicely – he sang about it in a tune as he headed off nightly. To the end of the rainbow and back, Santa kept all the gnomes on track (there was even another precious stone in jet black !). The year that Santa visited the *** jewelry shop, was rather special (with gold and silver medallions made out of precious metal). Mrs. Christmas had an idea – to wrap a jewel in each cracker – like a string of pearls, what a smacker ! One might get lost in Santa’s beard, she feared. So she tied a label with the name of each gnome, making sure the cards didn’t get dog – eared. The string of topaz and opal precious stones were Santa’s delight – he could see them sparkle through the grotto window, as he landed from mid – flight.

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The Year That Rudolph Needed A *** Crane To Help His Christmas Strain

Jacqueline — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:31:50 +0000

Have you ever wondered how Santa managed to be so high ? The answer is simply, by magic sleigh, though there are a million and one other ways to fly through the sky.

One particular Christmas (around mid – 1950, I think) the sleigh wasn’t at all that shifty … nor was Rudolph that nifty, after three million glasses of shery to drink.

When Santa paused at the traffic lights he became rather fascinated by the stars, (which strongly resembled Christmas tree lights) – so he knew he was on course for Mars.

Of course everyone knows that in snow is not the best place to stop. Rightly so. When Santa tried to set off again, he found his sleigh was driving rather slow. The evening shade was getting dimmer and Santa after one thousand and one Christmas dinners, no slimmer. Despite twisting and turning, Christmas dancing was something Santa was still learning. He only wished they’d had breakfast that morning ! Other than the snowman, Rudolph was coldest of all – his teeth chattered so much, Mrs. Chrismtas thought it was the letterbox opening in the hall !

After a minute or two, stuck in one spot, around the sleigh, the snow rose two inches higher – Santa called to Gerome to see if he had a shovel or not. Although everyone digged as fast as they could, the snow kept on falling faster … even a tractor was no good in the mud. In such a storm, they would never make it to the other side of the everglade wood.

The Christmas fairy wondered if the rope they used to tie up the presents on the sleigh was tight enough to take the strain. Perhaps, even better they could find a crane. Would they ever catch up (it was already 24th December) … surely this Christmas would be one to remember ! The fairy pulled and Gerome the gnome gave a push – this was so unlucky, on the night that they needed to rush ! So many shoves, he was glad he’d brought his gloves ! But still the sleigh wouldn’t move, stuck in a groove, he could just see the chimney on top of the roof. Settling down for the evening by the camp fire, Santa handed Rudolph a carrot and tied his collar to a fence made from wire. The explorers were just settling down rolling over in a make shift bed, when in roared an enormous vehicle, leaving a cloud of dust overhead, ahead. “At last ! Rescue !” (they were in luck), Santa exclaimed in glee … now they’d get a ride instead (Santa hoped for free no fee !).

As their spirits started to lift, inch by inch, the sleigh started to shift. He raised a glass of sherry in good cheer “Merry Christmas everyone !”, then he quickly realised, he was on the run. The crane had caught Santa in his britches … as well as one or two parcels filled with seasonal riches. Twenty feet off the ground, the entire sleigh started to spin around. In Santa’s pocket was a small hole, well, a needle and thread aren’t easy to find in the North Pole. There really was no other Christmas to match it – out fell a gold coin … and everyone tried to catch it. Although Santa was fortunate to to be pulled out of this sticky patch … what the gnomes loved best was a championship *** cricket match.Rudolph held on as hard as he could, as the *** crane moved over the hill, it gave them all a nudge !

How could Santa let his memory slip ! If only Santa had remembered to order a *** skip ! (then he could have easily stored all his presents in one – but using the *** crane to deliver presents was really so much fun.

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The Christmas That Santa Got A New Make Up Set

Jacqueline — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 08:10:20 +0000

The Christmas that Santa got a new *** make up set was one of the most colourful that there had ever been. Christmas was now so multi – coloured, Christmas was in blue, purple, red as well as in red and green ! The Christmas cards had never been so bright – there was a different colour, in every fairy light ! Even the stars seemed to flash brighter when they shone at night. They mesmerised the robin alright ! so he flew clear out of sight.

“Great !”, said Santa as he opened up the pack – not realising that really it was intended for the Christmas Fairy, accidentally falling out of his knapsack. He unwrapped it rather quick and fell completely in love with the shades of *** lipstick ! Santa got started straight away – soon, everything was a different colour everyday !

With the *** mascara, Santa painted the sleigh tyres grey (he didn’t much like the colour of his muddy tyres anyway !). The green trees were soon pink. Thinking it was milkshake, I dare think ! even the cat had multi – coloured whiskers, when he went to take a drink ! Once Santa received a *** make – up gift, there was never again a need to paint or decorate – only open the beautiful display of __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ which was great ! One of Santa’s multi – coloured mistletoe kisses once missed, he slipped and kissed the Gerome the gnome’s missus ! With the *** powder, Santa and Gerome the gnome made a snowman … which when melted, of course, painted the watering can ! The icicles on Gerome the gnome’s garden shed, soon became cold water particles, instead. The snowflakes sprinkled, were in brown, yellow and red and left a masterpiece, in the flowerbed ! With the *** blusher, rather than muddy, the robin turned ruddy, all because someone bought a *** make – up kit for his Christmas buddy. With the *** eyeliner Santa wrote, the name of *** on a piece of paper and put it in the pocket of his Winter coat. When, over Santaland, he started to sneeze, out dropped the paper and flew away in the breeze … the piece of paper on which the name *** was clearly spelt, became quite magic (though Santa had difficulty keeping it underneath his belt). Santa made the magic piece of paper into a Christmas card, which he posted all over the world. The world soon heard of the brilliant Good news, about the *** make – up set, in all different coloured hues.

© Jacqueline Richards 2008

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__ __ __ fill in the gaps with *** make – up kit features and selling points

The Hungry Dog Who Got The Hots About A Hotdog

Jacqueline — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:53:03 +0000

All the hungry hot dog wanted to be was a cool cat – with anything but sausages for tea …
Until he tried a *** hotdog, that is … (between you and me … !).
After that, he was in culinairy bliss …
Eating every *** hot dog that he could see.
Mustard or custard, to switch didn’t matter which,
Every time the hungry hot dog got the hots for a hotdog,
It was either his fleas, or he got a terrible itch !
Short or long, *** hotdogs on a roll were his delight …
The hungry hotdog had such an enormous appetite,
Sometimes he didn’t even wait to unwrap the serviette, before he took a bite !
The hungry hot dog licked his lips (to make sure no relish was wasted on his chips),
Even the onions tasted nice in dips.
Oh crumbs ! Here the hot dog comes ! With a terrible case of *** yum – yums !
A single can of *** hotdogs satisfied him and all his chums !
When the hungry hog saw a *** hotdog,
His belly started to rumble, his knees fell weak and he felt he’d crumble.
He jumped up and down so much, even his fleas took a *** hotdog tumble !
Just the aroma of *** hotdogs cooking,
Makes his mouth water, without even looking.
Before long, of course, he’s eaten them all,
With or without *** sauce ! (doesn’t matter at all !).
So nowadays when the hungry hot dog reaches into the burger van,
It’s only to give the *** hotdog man a ketchup kiss – but even then, as often as he can !
© Jacqueline Richards 2008

The Hungry Bluebottle Who Ate A Whole Bottle Of *** Ketchup

Jacqueline — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 12:33:38 +0000

There was once a bluebottle who ate whole bottle of *** ketchup. Flapping around since last Monday, had left the bluebottle so so hungry, that his wings were tired. His mouth watered for something before flying to bed he retired. He’d been to the butcher’s shop, but it was shut – and anyway, he didn’t like the look of the cut. The hungry bluebottle called at the Baker’s shop, too – but everything there was too sugary, he knew. He wanted to stop off for a bite to eat – but he was scared of sticking to a restaurant floor with his feet. Before the day was complete, he longed for a treat and a cool place from the heat. But at the fruit and vegetable shop there was nothing that looked like a treat. He took a seat and thought a bit … then he realised he liked the taste of it ! The hamburger bun that he bounced off was a real hit ! and the cucumber relish would keep him fit. In the Sun, the bluebottle sat lunching until he weighed a ton. It was no secret that the hungry bluebottle liked ketchup – he devoured lots of it – cup after cup. He savoured a little bit, at first, then took a bigger sup. Mmm. Perfect ketchup – just right, not too salty, thick or light. The only problem was that the lid was too tight. The top of a ketchup bottle, is quite a precarious place to belong, when you’re not so strong and in fact, only three centimetres long. Although the bluebottle tried to balance carefully, what he really needed to was to bunjee jump down (or buy a pulley because he feared in ketchup, he was about to drown !).

A kind lady came to help him somewhat – she also came to see what it was he liked the taste of such a lot ! (and promptly threw him into the cooking pot !). The waitress was rather grumpy – some of the dinners were cold and the gravy was lumpy ! Before the waitress could begin clearing up once more, the hungry bluebottle decided he’d better get stuck into another cup of ketchup some more ! He licked his lips, this cafe’s *** ketchup was great for dips … better still on *** chips ! He was so delighted, he performed a somersault and one or two back – flips. It wasn’t long before he was feeling again alright – ed ! The hungry bluebottle had only expected to snack on something – he didn’t expect to be swimming in the thing ! But anyway, *** ketchup had a real swing especially on a chicken wing ! With salt and vinegar – it was better than a fly – squatter fling. “Help ! I’m stuck like glue !” … cried the bluebottle (who didn’t know what to do). A *** cafe waitress came to help him out – the bluebottle asked if she’d mind pulling him out ! … then he flew away roundabout (narrowly missing the teapot spout !). “Ouch !”, the hungry bluebottle began to howl, as he crashed into the sugar bowl … a spoonful would have done, but he greedily gulped down the whole ! It wasn’t long before the hungry bluebottle came back, seeking even more *** ketchup by following the footprints he’d left before as a track.

There even were a number of different *** ketchup types to be flavoured – the hungry bluebottle only hoped, in one day they all could be savoured. For a hungry bluebottle, a whole bottle of *** ketchup is better than champagne … so he munched for five minutes – then started once again. Very soon, the hungry bluebottle’s eyes were bigger than his belly – hardly surprising since he’d spent the entire day crunching on jelly that he’d seen on the telly ! The hungry bluebottle didn’t mean to cause any upset, he just liked splashing about in mustard and getting his wings wet … and anyway, *** ketchup was the best ketchup he’d ever tasted yet, I bet ! (he only hoped that the cafe waitress would keep him as her pet !). Life as a hungry bluebottle comes and goes in highs and lows … at dinnertime, there’s a *** ketchup glow. To *** cafe is the place for *** ketchup to go ! You can also watch the ketchup sketch on TV … *** cafe is the best place to be !
© Jacqueline Richards 2008

The Christmas When Santa Arrived Via Windows

Jacqueline — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 09:43:51 +0000

One Christmas, Santa had had enough of going through the chimney pot. Needless to say, he often didn’t hit the right spot – when he miseed the fireplace … he felt a real clot (and it was hot !). Anyway, he decided to give it his best shot. “What a lot of rot !”, he thought, “What other entrances has the house got ?”. Santa thought about the letterbox slot, then tried the door to see if would open, (it would not !). Rather than be thought of as a cat burglar thief, Santa decided he’d try parachuting in through Windows in a very large handkerchief. Santa tied up a long piece of rope – but it didn’t stretch all that well (there was little hope !). His enormous Wellington boots undid the knot, “Yippee !”, he cried as he slid down. Santa still managed to climb up for a word with the robin on the gutter – from there, he could see all over town ! His head was spinning and his heart was a – flutter.

But the unravelled thread soon had a hole, probably made from undropping a large piece of coal. “It’s getting rather cold”, Mrs. Christmas began to scold, as the truth of their Wintery adventures bean to unfold. Although Santa’s ladder didn’t quite reach, he still had a bucket and spade from his Summer holiday on the beach. He still had a thousand parcels to deliver (as well as give an end of party speech). Perhaps he should pretend to be a Window cleaner ? then he could deliver presents environmentally greener ! So Santa climbed up the drainpipe, to give the grotto windows a wipe (where there had become dirty from him smoking his pipe !). Whilst he was up there, he polished the brasses and gave the rooftop a clean swipe. He pinched an apple from the fruit bowl, but it wasn’t his favourite type.

Yippee ! YPE or IPE – circle the words you see with these two endings.

Santa put a flyer into every book he took – “Window cleaner has a vacancy spare”, written in bold, with splashes of colour everywhere. Before long, he was cleaning windows, here and there. He started in the North Pole and ended up in the South, moved along the streets in Dollarville then onto Spexmouth. When Mrs. Christmas last year, had bought Santa a bucket, she hardly expected that he’d have to muck it ! (or better still, unhook it to chuck it !). Santa had brought an old rag, (a tatty old bit of booty bag) – he hitch – hiked a lift from Rudolph, the stag and quickly got cleaning. By the end of the morning, he’d finished all the windows, his sleigh and his jag. All of a sudden, there was a loud crack, Santa accidentally gave the windowframe a WHACK !. It wouldn’t be long, of course, before he was back on track – giving out gifts from his knapsack. His red and whire suit elastic which was slack, came in handy, for bunjee jumping, to bounce him back. Going through windows should have been easy – but the dust from the computer made him a little wheezy ! … perhaps it would have been handy if more of the windows were greasy !

Word Wall

Make a wall for Santa to climb, using words that link, with matching first and last letters. The first peson to reach a chimney, wins Santa’s gift.

4 Windows Words – Word 4 Windows – Windows 4 Words

* Teacher’s note – explain that a lot of reading is about matching shapes and sounds. Draw four windows on the whiteboard, (square, round, triangle and rectangle), then assort the following adjectives into the right category. Which word would fit through which window ?

ball tin of peas slice of cheese onion CR ROM

book saucer and cup briefcase hatbox

photograph frame alarm clock roof of a house

mountaintops bottle of shampoo cheque book glass

reel of cotton bucket tomato tent gold coin

box of matches Christmas gift crackers

Think of the A to Z alphabet. Which shapes can be seen in each letter. Imagine there is a snake (the letter S) travelling between windows. Draw the snake crawling along part of each letter.

What a Lot of Chimney Pots !

AT or OT – think of as many words as you can that include these two endings.

The Christmas When Santa Lost A Piece of the Jigsaw Puzzle

Jacqueline — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 19:15:02 +0000

One Christmas, Santa got a jigsaw as a gift, though it wasn’t long before he lost some of it in a snowdrift ! The Christmas when Santa lost a piece of the jigsaw, was the happiest Christmas anyone ever saw … most of it looking for lost jigsaw pieces, crawling around on the floor ! Although he tried as hard as he could to lift it, a piece fell down the side of the settee and he simply couldn’t shift it.

To count them, Santa lined up what pieces he had on the windowsill – the last that I heard, he’s looking still. One went missing whilst Santa was out wishing. – no – one had to keep guessing where he;d gone – of course, he’d gone fishing ! Santa waved as he saw his mate’s kid – he tripped on the garden path then suddenly skid. A Wellington boot hit the Christmas tree and all the gifts beneath hid …

Most of the pieces headed towards the tea. Into the pot, dropped a lot. Over the plate, a jigsaw piece skate – Santa went off looking so long, dinner had to wait and the tea had gone strong, before long. A piece of jigsaw landed on Santa’s rug, another in Mrs. Christmas’s cream jug. When Santa went to chomp a bite – a piece flew past just like a kite. A photograph of a chicken sandwich wasn’t enough to fill his enormous appetite ! and soon, the whole room was covered in jigsaw stuff ! But Mrs. Christmas still had some crackers, which tasted alright. The Christmas when Santa lost a piece of the jigsaw puzzle, Christmas started to immeadiately fizzle … as another piece landed in the snow and drizzle.

Bits and pieces flew through the air, as Santa threw pieces everywhere. There was a picture of a chip underneath the table and a chip off the table underneath the picture. To the rug, another lost jigsaw puzzle made a very nice fixture. Santa sat for at least an hour, still trying to piece together all the petals of the jigsaw’s flower. He wanted make the pieces all fit right … but another piece flew off in flight. No wonder, Santa looked incredibly puzzled – some of the picture was hidden by crumbs from the mince pie that he’d just guzzled. One puzzle piece hit the cat on the head … Santa found another in the flowerbed (should’ve been a blue one, but he saw red !). Rudolph the red nose reindeer squashed one piece as around the corner he sped. By now, in Santa’s Christmas pudding, thre wasn’t a full shilling … he would have much rather have been baking mince pies – but there wasn’t nearly enough filling ! No wonder Christmas got mixed up – it took an hour to find the lost puzzle, to get the jigsaw properly fixed up.