The Alien Who Landed On The Planet Zorg

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An alien landed on the Planet Zorg. He tried to ask for directions to get to the restaurant – but no – one could understand him. The alien only spoke Alienish, not Zorgian, which was a source of cosmic chaos. When the astro mouse he met told him to go right … he looked up the word in his traveller’s guidebook to the Planet Zorg …. and turned left. The guidebook said (in Zorgian) to turn to page six … he flicked to the index and turned to page twelve by mistake. Page twelve read in Zorgian … “Pass the church, continue on the road and go straight ahead”. Instead of sending the alien to the best restaurant, the Zorgian guidebook sent him to the worst. He heard that the restaurant was on the east side of town, but, of course the alien couldn’t read the Zorgian road signs and soon was in the west.The Zorgian map in the guidebook was a bit more useful since it showed the way to the restaurant in all different colours. But the alien read Zorgian print in the guidebook upside down and ended up at the museum. There was no point in denying it – the alien was simply lost. Lost in space on the Planet Zorg. He was so busy reading the guidebook that the alien fell down a crater … and it took three dozen astro mice to try and get him out of the creamy hole. As the alien dusted off cheesy crumbs, he looked around for a Zorgian taxi – with a sign on top saying “XATI”. But the taxi driver couldn’t understand him – he thought the alien asked for bus station – so he took him there in a flash. Although the alien told him not to hurry in such a dash (In alienish, “TON OT YURR NISH UCH HADS”) … the Zorgian didn’t understand his language … and speeded up to get him there even quicker. The alien paid twice the usual price of course because he thought the Zorgian taxi driver said twelve, not two pounds (In Zorgian “WOT UNDOPS”), and he had trouble writing the cheque in Zorgian. The alien got on the number twenty – seven bus, rather than the number twenty – nine. He couldn’t read his ticket in Zorgian … and he got thrown off the bus. Eventually, with the help of a very friendly astro mouse, the alien did arrive at the Zorgian restaurant. He was quite hungry now and read the menu (in Zorgian) … he wanted to order fish ‘n’ chips … he looked down the Zorgian menu and thought that “SHIP IF CHINS” sounded about right … he ended up with a steak. He asked the waiter for some salt and vinegar to make his meal a treat … instead he brought him tomato sauce that landed on his feet. The alien asked the waiter for a cloth to clean up the mess … the waiter brought him a newspaper and a game of Zorgian chess. By the alien was angry and stmaped his alien feet … the astro mice thougt this as a dance and all of them took a seat. They clapped in time to the music, of the alien’s angry cries. The waiter rushed out to see what the noise was and brought him two apple pies. By now, the alien was getting tired, and asked for a bed to sleep … he looked around to see where the Zorgs slept, and ended up in a Zorgian heap.

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Loch – “Ness” Monster Spelling Game

Find as many words as you can ending in … NESS. Here is are some examples to help get you started …

happi + ness
contented + ness
faddi + ness
mad + ness

© Jacqueline Richards 2005

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