The Christmas When Santa Got A Cookery Book

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As A Christmas Present Mrs. Christmas was in the supermarket shopping just before Christmas one year. She had got all the things on her shopping list … a turkey, sausages, crackers and a bottle of port … but was still one present short : something for Santa. Of course, in the grotto, presents had been the topic of conversation for quite a while – but this particular present raised a smile. Santa had never been very good at cooking – he was the first out of the door, when the Christmas turkey needed plucking ! The cakes he made were hard as rock – they made a hole when he put it as a surprise for the elf in his present sock. The biscuits that Santa made crumbled so much, they were soon a pile of crumbs on the floor – he ate so many, he couldn’t eat anymore ! The knife wouldn’t cut the meat and potato pie that Santa made – the jar cracked when he filled it with his homemade marmalade. No one bought a single jar when he took it to the market to trade ! If Santa made a plate of sandwiches, he cut the bread so thick, when Santa dropped one on the floor, it wouldn’t unstick ! Santa’s homemade cheese and crackers weren’t any better – even the grotto mice didn’t like the taste of his feta ! So, when Mrs. Christmas saw on the magazine rack, books being advertised – which, if you didn’t like you could take back – she stopped in her tracks ! Generally, Mrs. Christmas thought that a new cookery book would be … a jolly good Christmas present, for a jolly good Christmas for the whole family ! (hopefully, this year, the festivities would be better than most … and Santa wouldn’t burn the toast !). Mrs. Christmas wrapped the book in wrapping paper and put it beneath the tree for later. Then she set about preparing the mince pies for tea, thinking on Christmas morning, what a great surprise the book would be ! The elf had an even better plan – quickly heading off to the shops to buy Santa a pan. As Santa opened his present, on Christmas morning, of course, he was positively delighted, he thought his new book for rather nice. He particularly liked the section on sugar and spice. Santa agreed that this was an ideal treat – and the illustrations looked good enough to eat ! He got started straight away – cooking, chopping and stewing all Christmas day ! A dash of salt here and a sprinkle of pepper there – soon, his concoction was bubbling everywhere ! The aroma headed out of the kitchen door … towards the snowman, who quickly came indoors to ask for some more. In came three wise men, from the East they, too, had heard about Santa’s feast !The Christmas fairy set the table – with as many knives, forks and spoons as well as an enormous ladle. There was of course, so many elves, that they had to bring every one of the cups from the cupboard shelves. Gerome the gnome checked that every one had a place – no – one wanted to miss out on a special taste ! The Christmas when Santa got a cookery book as a Christmas present, Santa learned twenty new ways to cook a pheasant (and the Christmas pudding that he made was really most pleasant !).

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A Book – ish Christmas

Write a list for Mrs. Christmas of as many different types of books that you can think of that she could possibly give to Santa as a present.

© Jacqueline Richards 2008

Answers : map book, dictionary, autobiography etc

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