Santa’s Trip Around The World Without Any Signposts

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Santa didn’t mean to end up in the South instead of the North Pole. But for some reason, the sleigh had gone the wrong way (probably because his eyesight was worse than that of a mole). The condition of the sleigh was also a bit of a worry. As well as everything in view appearing quite blurry, Rudolph’s eyesight was poor, being so furry, especially when in a hurry. When the sleigh started to sway, he ended up in a hole ! (and couldn’t get out until Saturday !). It was going the wrong way, on Christmas day, that made Santa land in the snow, and his hair white all day ! Usually, when the Christmas stars shone bright, Santa easily steered the sleigh in flight. But this year, the meteroties didn’t seem to shine alright and Santa’s sleigh had a broken headlight. Santa instructed Rudolph to read the signs well, but the reindeer had been sipping Christmas wines and accidentally fell. Nor could he tell the difference between London and Snowdon, as well. Santa went the wrong way around the roundabout and when the gearstick should have been let in, he let it out ! In, out ! In, out ! When Santa’s sleigh started to shake about, three of the screws in the hokey – cokey engine fell out. Geographical maps had never been Santa’s strong point at school. He didn’t have a compass and couldn’t at all work a slide – rule. Which way should Santa go ? Left or right, he really didn’t know !
Furthermore, when Santa wasn’t wearing his spectacles, he wasn’t that good at reading, at all so, hardly surprising that his driving wasn’t succeeding (and he crashed into the garden wall !). In fact, he almost ran over the Christmas fairy, nearly (fortunately, this wasn’t a problem that he had yearly). As Santa leaned on the signpost at the corner of the street, Rudolph almost trod on his feet ! Being more long – sighted than most, not only was Santa lost – he also couldn’t focus on the signpost ! So he headed off inland, instead of towards the coast, en route to the grotto in Santaland.
Wherever it seemed that Santa wanted to go, the road was a no – go without a tow. All of the places didn’t show and the signposts were completely obliterated by snow. Where Santa should have turned right, off to Oslo, he couldn’t see the signpost alright or the placename was hidden by a crow. When Santa should have been in Berlin, he was still looking for the way, near Madrid, waiting for Christmas to begin. Instead of Denmark, Santa found himself flying over Central Park. Copenhagen, instead of Baden. Dublin rather than Greenland, further North (although he studied the map for all he was worth). At the road junction, where the trail began to fork, Santa had two options, going to Paris or New York. Perhaps it would be better to walk ? By ten o’clock, Santa should have made it across the River Tyne, but in the misty weather, the panorama was just an outline. Again, he missed the sign. Instead of seven miles, Santa read nine. At Midnight, instead of spending the night sleeping, tucked up in warm bedding, Santa was still circling in the sleigh, somewhere over Reading ! About two, as Sydney, Australia came into view, Santa looked for the signs – they read Timbukto ! No wonder the time flew ! Above Delhi, from the sleigh, landed the presents (a watch for Frosty the snowman) that Santa threw. At three, instead of in Kathmandu, where his automatic routefinder said he should have been, Santa found himself flying somewhere over Houghton Green (the signposts still couldn’t be seen). As he circum – navigated Wales, Santa hoped the icy North wind blowing would put some more Oooommph ! in his sails. Needless to say, he was still on the wrong trail (though he guessed he was in the Dales).
By now Santa was so late, having no idea what time he’d get to Mo the eskimo’s igloo gate, he was impatiently discarding his map. It landed on an icecap, awaking three Polar bears from their nap. It was just like the Winter Olympic games. Although he tried to see the placenames, there was so much snow, that the names appeared all the same. No – one was able to show him the way, no one sign showed him the exit, to his dismay.
Santa still had thousands of gifts to deliver, but was still stuck in snowdrifts by the river. Even though he didn’t know which one and he wasn’t much further on, a bit of white water kayaking, still turned out to be fun. In the mist, Santa could see neither the map, nor his present list. Santa shone a torch, but the snow and ice was so thick, only, it seemed that only a bulldozer could possibly do the trick ! As he splashed into a puddle, the presents in Santa’s sack got into even more of a muddle. All the labels on the gifts in his booty bag quickly became jumbled, “Oh Christmas tree pine needles in your foot !”, Santa mumbled, as from his sack, a teddy bear tumbled. His hopes of getting home in time for Christmas dinner crumbled.
Without proper signposts, Santa’s Christmas trip really was a sham ! Instead of taking a doll’s house to a girl in Amsterdam, Santa delivered a train set really intended for a boy in West Ham. There was a ring for a girl in Bejing, who didn’t get a single thing. The train meant for Gerome the gnome, Santa dropped on his way home and instead he got a brand new comb ! By the fireplace, next to the broom, Mrs. Christmas found her bottle of perfume, all because the signpost pointed to the wrong room.
All of this confusion lead to a real Christmas caper – Santa may as well have used his map as gift wrapping paper ! (just about as much use for getting around America’s tallest sky – scraper). Whilst the duo were on their trip – they didn’t have a clue – o ! no wonder their journey was a flip ! and they didn’t find the grotto. The road was long and the house number seemed wrong. Santa tried to see clearly, but his eyesight wasn’t that strong. Santa had never had a Christmas so topsy – turvy, as the year when going around unreadable signposts, made his round – the – world journey roundly swervy.
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Which Way Should Santa Go ? 

In this spelling game, the letters S – A – N have been removed. To complete the words correctly, is it left or right that the Christmas star should be moved ?

__ __ __ dstone *

* plea __ __ __ t

__ __ __ ctimonio * us

__ __ __ ction *

* __ __ __ ctuary

* __ __ __ peat

__ __ __ e *

__ __ __ ctity *

*__ __ __ guine

* __ __ __ itary

__ __ __ g *

phea __ __ __ t *

© Jacqueline Richards 2008

Answers : sandstone ; pleasant ; sanctimonious ; sanction ; sanctuary ; peasant ; sane ; sanctity ; sanguine ; sanitary ; sang ; pheasant

 

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