The Loose Tile On Santa’s Roof


One Christmas, when Santa was reading the news, he got stuck on one of the crossword clues. Something splashed in his eye, probably a raindrop from a puddle as a truck was passing by. He went to take a sip of tea, then felt something wet “SPLAT !” on his knee. As Santa looked up, another raindrop splashed into his cup. Before long, a puddle had formed on the floor, lightening flashed and thunder stormed some more. There was a hole in Santa’s ceiling, it was clear to see, that was causing this rather damp feeling, as soggy as a December day could be.


Santa asked Gerome the Gnome to fetch some nails and a hammer, to mend their home. When Frosty the snowman brought the ladder, he hit his head on the door – frame (making him madder !). Together, the pair crawled up the drainpipe. As Santa passed the top window, he watered the flowerbox and gave them a wipe. Along the roof edge, Santa tip – toed. Below, Santa could see, parked on the path, his favourite sledge. Then suddenly, up in the sky, he saw a firework explode ! At first, the loose roof tile, was difficult to locate. It had been twelve months since there he’d been above the first floor and his eyesight wasn’t so great. But with all the energy that he could muster, Santa tried not to wobble, nor get in a fluster. A very big saw hung from his back pocket. CRASH, the kitchen door swung open, (he’d forgotten to lock it !).


Whilst Santa was busy, fixing the roof, in flew Rudolph from Australia, hitting the chimney with his hoof. “OUCH !”, Santa cried out loud, as he slowed – low flying reindeers shouldn’t be allowed (especially when it snowed). He put his foot down, to keep him steady (looking down the chimney to see if tea was ready !). That was when a calamity occurred … when Santa slipped, tripped and the “BANG !” was the loudest ever heard ! Santa, really rather would have been, delivering Christmas presents from the bus on the green. Perhaps even by aeroplane, (except he might not be that well seen !).


Actually, a helicopter ride might have been even better, giving Santa the opportunity to read the toy – requests sent by letter. As his sack followed quickly behind, Santa landed on the Christmas fairy, hoping that she wouldn’t mind.


The Christmas that Santa went to mend the roof tiles passed most quickly. Compared to all the hustle and bustle on the supermarket escalator, he made it down the chimney pot much more slickly. So that’s the story of how Santa came to be, the greatest ever expert in chimney history, a hundred feet above the highest Christmas tree. But, ever since then, it has become a tradition, not to bother with the door anymore … but head towards the floor by jumping down on a Batman mission. Every year, Santa’s Christmas tale is always accompanied by a Christmas abseil.

© Jacqueline Richards 2008

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