The Christmas When Santa Got A New Exercise Bicycle As A Present


The Christmas when Santa got a new exercise bicycle as a present, the Santaland grotto almost glided off ! When Santa went out for a ride, all of Christmas started to slide ! From January to December, over twelve months, Santa had eaten rather a lot of mince pies … so putting on a few extra pounds was hardly a surprise ! His trousers didn’t fit anymore – when he tried to pull them up, they fell down again to the floor ! In fact, Santa gained so much weight, that he could hardly fit through the door ! Mrs. Christmas agreed. She also thought his health was quite shocking – each time Santa down by the fireside, the table started rocking ! If he sneezed, the door began unlocking and in just one stomp of Santa’s foot, all the baubles on the Christmas tree started knocking ! Santa was getting so fat that when he played the lottery, if he cheered at bingo, then in the rollover, he broke all the pottery ! Mrs. Christmas grumbled that she couldn’t take much more … as Santa helped himself to another of her mince pies, he put his foot through the floor ! As Santa munched, the chair crunched … Santa broke the table whenever he lunched ! What worried Mrs. Christmas was that Santa may not fit through the chimney pot, unless he dieted rather a lot. Unless he slimmed down, he might not glide down. Santa could topple over Frosty the Snowman, with a single frown.


Just in case the house slided, what Santa really needed, was to get fit and not be so “open – wided”, Mrs. Christmas decided. Then perhaps his trousers would fit and not tear whenever he sit. Before Santa became anymore enlarged, Mrs. Christmas went to buy him an exercise bicycle, turbo – charged ! As she brought it home from the supermarket, in from the cold, three gnomes barged. The Christmas Fairy helped Mrs. Christmas park it and once the tyres were pumped up, it didn’t take much to spark it. The bicycle’s paint was blue, the handlebars, shiny and new. The new exercise bike’s bell rang just like the bell on Santa’s sleigh … when the snowman gave it a test drive, they almost flew away ! Rudolph the reindeer, too, agreed : even though it didn’t go, the new exercise bike zoomed like a dynamo !


As a present, the new exercise bicycle was difficult to wrap. The box that it came in was enormous and the ribbon almost began to snap ! Just the same as always, the gnomes made sure that all the presents were sprinkled with a bit of magic moondust. The Christmas when Santa got a new exercise bicycle as a present, they added a bit of glitter, just to make sure the spell worked properly to get Santa healthy and fitter ! By Boxing Day, Santa was three pounds lighter. Until the bulb in the new bicycle’s headlamps broke, the whole of Santaland seemed brighter ! His maiden voyage was so scary, his white beard ended up much whiter !


Of course, Christmas is magic and at this time of year, magic is what Santas do best. As all the elves rushed to pass their test, the gnomes soon found that exercise bicycle never gave anyone any rest ! With a little wave of the Christmas fairy’s magic wand, a sprinkle of moondust and a clap of her hand, the exercise bicycle launched off over Santaland. The magic made Santaland’s miserable Winter weather brilliant again, though Santa was still on his way to Spain (via exercise bicycle rather than by sleigh, or even aeroplane !). As the magic grew and grew … over Santaland, the exercise bicycle flew. Soon, the exercise bicycle was gliding so fast, it seemed like a meteorite was zooming past ! Oopps ! As three more elves joined in the race, the exercise bicycle bumped into the fireplace. With a bit of oil and some further toil, Santa was soon panting so much he thought that he’d over – boil ! Although, usually, everything inside the grotto stayed quite stationary, with a bit of Santa’s Christmas cycle razzmatazz, everything became even more extra – ordinairy ! (even better than the flight of the sugar plum fairy !). Outside in the snow, on Christmas night, Santa’s exercise bicycle, jerked from STOP ! to GO ! and took off into flight … with a bit of magic Christmas huff and a bit of magic candlelight puff, the whole world was soon filled with Santa’s super – stuff.


When the world’s children asked if Santa had been to call … there was a clue, however : a bicycle pump had been left in the Hall ! Santa left his exercise bike in Australia, (without the tyres working, Christmas looked like becoming a failure !). The Christmas that Santa got a new exercise bicycle as a present, went with a real spin – though everyone had to hitchhike a few thousand miles home before Christmas dinner could begin !

© Jacqueline Richards 2008
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