The Christmas When Santa Went Around The World With A Tourist Guide

Because he travelled to so many different places, Santa was very good at languages. He knew how to say “Hello” in twenty alternative ways. The only trouble was that Christmas us usually such a tiswas, he sometimes got muddled up. He drove so fast globally, that he often forgot the day ! (and in what language he should then ask the way !). When he reached wherever he was going, Santa spoke in a strange accent, without even knowing !


In the South Pole, people weren’t used to foreigners from the South Pole (other than the occasional mole !). Naturally, they didn’t like strangers, at all. Of Course, Santa being from Santaland far away, there was none stranger (including the phrases for the thing she had to say !). The reindeer, too, seemed a little odd, for a “No” instead fo a yes, Rudolph gave a nod ! Hardly surprising, therefore, that Santa got lost (he was farther away from home than most !). Santa’s linguistic problem became much worse, when Santa started singing in a choir, of course. When Santa’s sleigh bells rang, all the Christmas angels sang (except in different languages, all the words were wrong !). With a song so long, Santa soon ran out of breath, and his high notes weren’t that strong. Inevitably, he said “Dong ! Ding !”, when he should have said “Ding ! Dong !”. As his awful pronunciation grated, the situation left Santa exasperated. Translating “Ho ! Ho ! Ho ! Happy Christmas, Here we go !”, took longer than anticipated. Flying through the clouds, he studied his phrasebook, as he sleigh circum – navigated. But still Santa’s version of “We wish you a Merry Christmas” in Swahili, still wasn’t at all that well – rated. Globe – trotting was great, but knowing what the billions of people who lived in the world were all saying was a task that Santa really did hate.



© Jacqueline Richards 2008


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