The Christmas When’s Santa Gift Was A Hairdryer

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The Christmas that Santa got a new hairdryer, blew Santa’s mind. When he sat down to unwind, his tie blew from front to behind. Santa’s wig took a whole afternoon to find ! In fact, the gust of wind was so powerful, he landed somewhere on the other side of Christmas Day ! Actually, everything else in the grotto, also almost blew completely away ! Early in December, Santa received an invitation to a Christmas ball. He jotted down the date and time on the calendar, so he would remember – with a reminder to RSVP and buy a gift, (some shampoo and some hair grips would be best of all !). The Christmas fairy helped Santa choose a new outfit in the shops, Mrs. Christmas pressed it tidy and neat. She even helped Santa polish the Wellington boots upon his feet. Santa booked a hairdresser’s appointment for the following day for a manicure, to get his beard trimmed and his locks strimmed. The stylist washed and cut Santa’s hair – it was full of knots. Meanwhile, the noise of the scissors sounded worse than Mrs. Christmas dropping the pots ! Just in case it rained on his way home, the hairdresser sold Santa a new hairdryer, as well as a shiny chrome comb. He couldn’t wait to show Gerome the Gnome, so Santa hastily rushed out of the door … still covered in shaving foam ! Before long, the whole grotto was like an aerodrome ! After an afternoon, snowballing in the chill, Santa was rather wet from falling in puddles, sledging down the hill. Naturally, he still wanted to look his best on the party night. It took three hours to get his curls to set just right ! So the hairdryer was most useful indeed, to make sure that Santa beard didn’t look like tumbleweed !
When Santa switched the “ON” button onto fast speed, there was a sudden blast. You’ d never sent the cat fly across the kitchen so fast (other than when being chased by a dog, the Christmas before last !). Even the Christmas fairy was aghast ! That year’s Christmas cards were delivered by air mail – in a cloud of hairspray from the fireplace they all set sail in the windy gale ! Soon, there was no tablecloth left on the table. Whilst Santa was wishing his friend “Merry Christmas ! Ho ! Ho ! Ho!”, on the telephone, he was left hanging onto the cable ! Cups and saucers smashed, the fairy lights flashed and blown by the hairdryer, everything in the grotto crashed.
“Oh ! Blow !”, Santa exclaimed, as from the fireside with a portrait picture, he was suddenly framed ! As the kitchen door noisily slammed shut, all of the ribbons on the gifts wobbled underneath the Christmas tree where they had been put. All the baubles on the Christmas tree rattled so much, it awoke the neighbours, who arrived at the grotto, still with the alarm clock in their clutch ! The gust span the oven gloves from Mrs. Christmas’s grasp … the mince pies that she was holding, flew across the kitchen quicker than wasp ! In just one of the hairdryer’s blows, everything through the air rose – including the Christmas tree bows.
Christmas was fast becoming truly gale force ! Before the thunderstorm from the hairdryer became much worse, Santa pinned up all the stockings on the mantelpiece securely. But it was his round – the – world – trip that worried him most, of course. How could Santa possibly be, on the other side of the globe by half past three ? But he needed have worried : the hairdryer made sure that everything was hurried ! It seemed as if a hurricane blew up the stairs, when the hairdryer even lifted Santa from his slumber clean off the chairs ! Out of the window and towards the garden shed, the wind from the hairdryer span Santa’s world so upside – down, he was tossed through the air acrobatically, head over heels and heels over head ! (eventually, landing in the flowerbed). As the wind dropped, Santa stopped … when the hairdryer increased in power, Santa was catapulted over the church tower. His sleigh was more like a roller – coaster ride. With the help of the hairdryer, he could more easily navigate worldwide ! North, South, East, West, the wind blew the sleigh so fast, Santa needed a driving test ! Outside in the garden, Santa’s clothes were on the washing line. The reindeers all ducked for cover, as the hairdryer blew them over the bus – stop sign. The Christmas when Santa got a new hairdryer as a present, the time simply flew by … along with the sleigh, Rudolph the red nose reindeer and three clouds in the sky !
© Jacqueline Richards 2008
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