The Christmas That Santa Landed On The Photocopier In The Elf Toy- Making Factory

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Of course, Santa preferred his holidays at home, relaxing by the fireside rather quietly – instead of travelling around the world, creating a riot with Gerome the gnome !
But, like most people, Santa had a job to do – so his Advent calendar was always crammed full of things he needed to get through. The first place on Santa’s list that he had to visit, was the elves’ toy – making factory. He wanted to make sure that everything was prepared and that the toys being made were satisfactory. Being boss, Santa didn’t like the factory to make a loss (but he still spent a fortune on candy floss !).
Christmas at the *** office is really quite a mad affair – there are always lots of fun ‘n’ frolicks … and decorations everywhere ! Santa usually arrives in the *** works van … carrying a sack of goodies, as fast as he can, just like the usual *** delivery man. Everyone else in the *** factory was off on their holiday – so no – one noticed Santa arrive in his sleigh, late one Saturday. When Santa bobbed outside to check if the weather had changed, the Night watchman at the office became suddenly deranged. Thinking that Santa was a crook, the security guard hit Santa on the head with a book ! So when Santa intrepidly tottered his way along the gutter, he wobbled somewhat and his heart gave a flutter. Slwoly, step by step towards the chimney, Santa got himself ready to jump, then became unsteady and landed with a “BUMP !”. His aim wasn’t that great, so down the chimney Santa didn’t fall straight … he crash – landed on the photcopier at a heckuva rate !
Other than once when he accidentally knocked a tile off the roof of the house, most Christmases, Santa sneaks around as quiet as a mouse. Most years, Santa came and went, without very much of an incident. But the year that Santa landed on the photocopier was a little different. Christmas went with a real bang ! Another piece of paper noisily popped in and out, whenever Santa’s sleigh bell rang ! In the very small hours, something clattered and switched on the power. Soon, there was a terrible commotion, as the photocopier cranked into motion. Santa only wanted to leave a present and be gone – he had an invitation to a party and wanted to go have some fun. His crash land on the photocopier, however, meant that his work would never get done, but it didn’t matter all that much, since the presents weighed a ton ! The photocopier lights flashed off and on again – Santa hoped that it wouldn’t rain, so the ink would run. Thinking it was the usual telephone, the office boy ran to see who it was (he was there alone !). Santa was still left hanging on, with an “Out of the office … back next week” kinda dialling tone.Even though he arrived, often uninvited, when he left presents everywhere, everyone was delighted ! For the secretaries, as bosses sometimes do, there was a surprise gift – a new bottle of ink and a pack of paper, too ! Santa bumped into the office cleaner on his way upstairs. She was busy polishing the desks, ready for everyone to start back to work in January, and cleaning beneath the chairs. Santa even met the company director and they discussed purchasing shares.

The year when Santa landed on the photocopier, the *** office workers all thought it was a bit strange, when suddenly the photocopier cranked into action and all the printers started to change. It wasn’t long, of course, before the ink ran out – as millions and millions of copies were quickly turned and churned out. Around the *** office, Christmas wishes this year came in a flash, as Santa’s white beard turned into a blue moustache. After an hour or so, Santa could hardly be seen. His face was red and his hands were green on the most colourful Christmas that had ever been ! He was covered in ink stains – the only way to stop him getting further multi – coloured was to pull the plug out of the mains !

“It was a thousand volt – it’s not my fault !”, Santa tried to explain to Mrs. Christmas why he had come home wearing such a big, black bruise (and why the photocopier had burst a fuse !). She didn’t believe it, it was no use ! Falling down chimneys was a hazardous business, indeed (especially, when Santa fell over a photocopier’s electricity lead !). “Next year, I’ll put them into the post, “It’ll be a much safer Christmas than most”, Santa told the reindeer, who was still trying to munch a blue carrot. Perhaps courier delivery would be a better idea, though that would spell unemployment for Rudolph the reindeer !

Santa didn’t know what to do about the colours of the ink that were mixed and it would take at least a week for the photocopier to get fixed ! Out of the door, a trail of multi – coloured footprints followed Santa on the floor. Now Christmas celebrations would never be dull anymore ! In the glare of the flashlight, Santa was dazzled. No wonder that the Chistmas landed on the *** photocopier, he soon got completely frazzled ! Of course, this was a far easier way to send everyone he knew a Christmas calling card – sticking a thousand stamps and posting them wasn’t nearly so hard ! The photocopier took snapshots of Santa having a ball – no – one seemed to mind that he had an orange and purple suit, this year, at all.

© Jacqueline Richards 2008

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