The Christmas That Santa Got A Magic *** Video Recorder


One Christmas, Mrs. Christmas’s mince pies looked so tasty on a plate on the table displayed, that Santa decided to photograph them, so in June, the Christmas cooking could be replayed. Not only were her cakes raised, but so were everyone’s eyebrows – they were all utterly amazed – when in the middle of Summer, there could see as many treats as they could eat – sugared, iced and glazed.

Of course, electronic presents bought for Santa are magic and can do tricks automatic. In order to ensure that this year’s Christmas had a souvenir keepsake, Santa tried his hand at cinematography … then took a second take ! Santa asked Gerome the gnome for a special request : a present of a new video camera, which, on Christmas Day, in seconds, he quickly put to the test. After that, no – one got any rest ! With a little *** video hocus pocus, the robin redbreast soon zoomed into focus. Santa was so busy auto – recording, that he knocked the robin red breast out of his nest ! With a wave of the Christmas fairy’s magic wand, the video started performing tricks, (even though it was second – hand). The Christmas fairy (who always liked to look her best) said, “Just let me put a bit of lipstick on, Hon”, then in a minute she was gone. As soon as Santa clicked the switch to “ON”, suddenly, there was an action replay of everyone. Of course, the video recorder’s magic worked best when Santa’s favourite soccer team, Robin redbreaster United were playing a match on Boxing Day. When Santa switched on the magic *** video recorder, they won 2 -1 ! (even though the stars were having a rest from play !).

Having a *** video recorder that was magic meant Santa never again had to wait for Christmas. If he wanted next Christmas to arrive, Santa pressed fast forward – just as easy as going on a magical sleigh drive. Now that every day was Christmas Day – Santa had even more presents to make than he had last May. Now that every day had a December ring, Santa, of course, had even more trouble remembering. However, so long as every day was Christmas Day, no – one minded much. Whatever the date, the holidays were great, as such ! Whenever Santa pressed the button “PLAY !”, everyone had another party for Christmas Day (over and over again, they say !). Santa often did things twice, but getting twice as many Christmas presents was rather nice ! The only trouble was he now had to polish twice as many shoes … and complete twice as many crossword clues ! Christmas dinner lasted twice as long … and Santa got twice as drunk, because the sherry wine was twice as strong ! With a simple *** video trick, Santa’s roast potates never went cold (Santa only hoped that the magic film would always be marvellous to behold and that he ever grow old !).

Santa always enjoyed impressing his wife, especially at Christmas. Just to make sure that he super – dooperly “wow” – ed her, as Santa flew over the North Pole border, turned on the *** video camcorder. As quick as a flash, Santa made a dash ! With a crash ! bash ! Santa ended up in the trash ! (all for $/£ *** worth of cash !). The elves all thought Santa’s comedy so funny, they replayed again, again …and again – and charged money. Santa’s Christmas film was so well – recorded, a Christmas Oscar, Santa was awarded.

Then, just as it seemed to Santa that Christmas was over, Santa pressed rewind and turned the tape over. His appetite was just returning. For another slice of turkey, Santa began yearning. Luckily, with the easy – to – read manual, Santa was fastly learning. He switched fast forward to the turkey chowder … and a replay of Mrs. Christmas mince pies (in a cloudy puff of icing powder !).

© Jacqueline Richards 2008

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