The Year That Santa’s Christmas Present Was A New *** Mobile Telephone

carol-singing.jpg

 
When Christy the Christmas fairy reached out her hand to wave to the people below, Santa thought that she was signalling right – he turned the steering wheel and flashed the indicator light. WOW ! What a flight ! The Christmas that Santa’s gift was a *** moble telephone had real uplift – and bells rang out all night ! Christy the Christmas fairy arrived home in style, the fastest she’d ever travelled a mile in between the most presents that she’d ever seen for a while ! (they’d dropped off a thousand presents after a short while !). Santa’s control tower, for his yearly sleigh ride, was situated on the chimney pot. The television aerial picked up the signals of their arrival – rather like Evil Knievel ! Christy the Christmas fairy quickly wrote Santa’s telephone number on file and decided, tomorrow, to give him a dial.
“Give me a ring !”, Christy the Christmas fairy said to Santa at the ball expecting diamond and probably sapphire encrusted jewellery ! But a ring on a new *** mobile telephone from Santa, was just as lovely. Then Brrrring ! Brrrring ! Brrrring ! As Santa dialled the number … awaking everyone asleep in the grotto from their slumber, the minute that Santa got home. Santa was of course, most disappointed to hear, the person who answered the telephone was Gerome the Gnome (sounded like he’d had that cold since last year !). So grateful was Christy the Christmas fairy for the ride that she granted Santa three special requests (so long as he didn’t tell the robin red breasts).

O

 

f course, Santa’s greatest wish was for a Mrs. Christmas mince pie with a heap of cheap custard in a dish … a *** mobile telephone *** (e.g. adapter) was Santa’s second wish ! What made Santa’s Christmas utterly complete, was a telephone directory, which appeared when he stamped his feet. In a puff of smoke, the fireside cat awoke (no wonder he went pale – Santa narrowly missed with his boot, the cat’s furry tail !). Eventually, however, he purred back to sleep, thinking of something equally tasty, a heavenly dream in crusty pastry (except with cream !). What a furry fuss broke out between the cat and the mouse … with the mouse being chased by the puss all around the house ! Can you guess what it was, that caused such an enormous Christmas tiswas ? The robin red breast had never had so much fun as when, with ringback, his nest wobbled and took off into the Sun ! Mrs. Christmas tired hard not to scoff when he chirped a dial tone as she handed him a tasty, homemade, cherry scone and the crumbs from a berry bun ! (the robin’s favourite of any one). When he flapped his wings, it was an incredible flight path … all the way from the hall in the grotto, to the bird bath ! The following day, as soon as Santa’s batteries were re – charged, Santa made sure his Christmas wishes were enlarged. His dreams truly came true (when Mrs. Christmas’s largest ever mince pie became two !). Santa’s friend Eskimo Mo was the next person that Santa wanted to call from out in the snow. He told him what time he’d be getting in, (just in case he thought it was a cat burglar, getting in the hall !), so Christmas dinner could begin, and they chatted about events at the ball. As soon as Santa got a quiet minute alone, he started pressing all the buttons on his new *** mobile telephone ! but instead of getting fixed up, the *** mobile telephone became rather mixed up ! When Santa rang the neighbours, next door, he accidentally telephoned nine instead of four. As Frosty the Snowman fell about in sniggers, Santa got even more confused with his figures ! By the time he’ finally got all his threes and twos in the correct order, Gerome the gnome had fallen asleep in the flower border. Before he knew it, Santa had telephoned everyone in the neighbourhood – well, I suppose they didn’t come round as often as they should ! Santa informed all the elves to tell them that from now on he’d be sending *** text messages rather than Christmas cards – “Well, how about that ?!” (the first message he wrote was “Watch out for the hungry cat !).
Although Santa wasn’t sure what time it was, on the other side of the world, he decided first to call Aunty Flo in Jamaica – though he didn’t want to wake her. Of course, Santa telephoned the number wrong … and soon in the grotto, all the phones were ringing loud and strong ! Santa threw his new phone into the air – casting special wishes everywhere ! Being magic, that did the trick ! “Ho ! Ho ! Ho !”, Santa cried as he checked the pics that he’d saved on his new *** mobile telephone … now Christmas would never go !
Santa’s Telephone Book
Write ten six figure numbers (like telephone numbers) and
ask pupils to devise a way to create a sum that equals this in a mathematical equation of their choosing. Example –
822028 = 822, 000 + 28
 2008ile telephone product name          

 

Answer – Mrs. Christmas’s mince pies

 

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: