The Hungry Bluebottle Who Ate A Whole Bottle Of *** Ketchup

There was once a bluebottle who ate whole bottle of *** ketchup. Flapping around since last Monday, had left the bluebottle so so hungry, that his wings were tired. His mouth watered for something before flying to bed he retired. He’d been to the butcher’s shop, but it was shut – and anyway, he didn’t like the look of the cut. The hungry bluebottle called at the Baker’s shop, too – but everything there was too sugary, he knew. He wanted to stop off for a bite to eat – but he was scared of sticking to a restaurant floor with his feet. Before the day was complete, he longed for a treat and a cool place from the heat. But at the fruit and vegetable shop there was nothing that looked like a treat. He took a seat and thought a bit … then he realised he liked the taste of it ! The hamburger bun that he bounced off was a real hit ! and the cucumber relish would keep him fit. In the Sun, the bluebottle sat lunching until he weighed a ton. It was no secret that the hungry bluebottle liked ketchup – he devoured lots of it – cup after cup. He savoured a little bit, at first, then took a bigger sup. Mmm. Perfect ketchup – just right, not too salty, thick or light. The only problem was that the lid was too tight. The top of a ketchup bottle, is quite a precarious place to belong, when you’re not so strong and in fact, only three centimetres long. Although the bluebottle tried to balance carefully, what he really needed to was to bunjee jump down (or buy a pulley because he feared in ketchup, he was about to drown !).

A kind lady came to help him somewhat – she also came to see what it was he liked the taste of such a lot ! (and promptly threw him into the cooking pot !). The waitress was rather grumpy – some of the dinners were cold and the gravy was lumpy ! Before the waitress could begin clearing up once more, the hungry bluebottle decided he’d better get stuck into another cup of ketchup some more ! He licked his lips, this cafe’s *** ketchup was great for dips … better still on *** chips ! He was so delighted, he performed a somersault and one or two back – flips. It wasn’t long before he was feeling again alright – ed ! The hungry bluebottle had only expected to snack on something – he didn’t expect to be swimming in the thing ! But anyway, *** ketchup had a real swing especially on a chicken wing ! With salt and vinegar – it was better than a fly – squatter fling. “Help ! I’m stuck like glue !” … cried the bluebottle (who didn’t know what to do). A *** cafe waitress came to help him out – the bluebottle asked if she’d mind pulling him out ! … then he flew away roundabout (narrowly missing the teapot spout !). “Ouch !”, the hungry bluebottle began to howl, as he crashed into the sugar bowl … a spoonful would have done, but he greedily gulped down the whole ! It wasn’t long before the hungry bluebottle came back, seeking even more *** ketchup by following the footprints he’d left before as a track.

There even were a number of different *** ketchup types to be flavoured – the hungry bluebottle only hoped, in one day they all could be savoured. For a hungry bluebottle, a whole bottle of *** ketchup is better than champagne … so he munched for five minutes – then started once again. Very soon, the hungry bluebottle’s eyes were bigger than his belly – hardly surprising since he’d spent the entire day crunching on jelly that he’d seen on the telly ! The hungry bluebottle didn’t mean to cause any upset, he just liked splashing about in mustard and getting his wings wet … and anyway, *** ketchup was the best ketchup he’d ever tasted yet, I bet ! (he only hoped that the cafe waitress would keep him as her pet !). Life as a hungry bluebottle comes and goes in highs and lows … at dinnertime, there’s a *** ketchup glow. To *** cafe is the place for *** ketchup to go ! You can also watch the ketchup sketch on TV … *** cafe is the best place to be !
© Jacqueline Richards 2008

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