The Christmas That Santa Tried Horse – Riding

To keep warm in the ice and snow, one Christmas, Santa tried horse – riding, though sometimes he still couldn’t go ! Although Santa and Rudolph studied how horses move as they do, it was a bit difficult, to translate this into steering on a sleigh, as around the world, the crew all flew. Captain Santa Claus had never had so much bother, getting all of the reindeers to be nice to one another. They were hardly five feet of the ground, when they started fooling around.

Since Santa’s presents  were growing even more and more, Santa could hardly get through the door. So, this year, Santa wanted to be even faster than ever before … and go by horse (which turned into a disaster of course !). Santa’s gallop was more of a scallop. Rudolph slipped and slid all over the place, with Santa clinging to his neck, then zooming off into outer space ! In hte twilight, the fairy wondered if it was a tail or a moustache on Santa’s face. Moreover, when Santa finally landed in a puddle of muddle by the fence, between all twelve of them there hardly seemed to be a difference. After trying to get out of a slippy ditch, no – one could tell which end was which ! But when he wished to soar, only Rudolph’s nose became sore … He huffed and puffed, but stayed in the same place on the floor, as the weather was getting colder (the barometer already measured nearly minus four !).

Santa soon felt goofy as he tried his fastest sprints … the garden path laid a trail of his muddy hoof prints. Then BANG ! He landed in a pile of mint. The other reindeer – horses ran so quickly, Santa soon became quite sickly. In the race, their fur shone sleekly. Santa checked the map (then realised it was a Woman’s weekly !). Nor did Santa’s parade through Santatown go that well – once when Rudolph trotted off, he stumbled into a well. Gerome the gnome also fell … his head was spinning, he wondered, had it been a spell ? Everyone helped get Rudolph back on track – really hoping some nice gift or treat would fall from his sack. Regardless of whether Santa had or hadn’t really mastered the horse – riding art … he packed all the world’s presents into the horse box and set a time to depart. The countdown had begun (of course, Gerome the gnome, who’d added all the gifts to ensure there was enough was better at adding than anyone !). Better than sleigh, or even a go – kart, riding by horse was the best way to give Christmas a kick start ! (remembering that the horse didn’t need petrol, but a tart and a kick to start !).

What was needed was some tasty magic food – sprinkled with Christmas fairy icing sugar (but to ask, may have seemed rude). Mrs.Christmas agreed – abracadabra – in seconds one appeared.  Rudolph chomped into a mince pie and made sure they ALL disappeared. The voltage of a few currents was miraculous – Christmas was now surely wonderous ! After a few bites of the amazing meal, tremendous energy was all he could feel. Rudolph’s nose began to light … and then the sleigh launched off in flight, leaving Santa soon feeling A – O – K Alright ! In the paddock, outside the garden shed, the Rudolph, suddenly had amazing zeal – was it the magic mince pies (which tasted of orange peel !?). There was so much magic – it made even the Snowman squeal !

In the ice cold Winters in the outer of the outside of the North Pole, there often blows a freezing wind, that keeps the embers burn in the coal. Although if you look, you’ll see nil, Jack Frost plays icicles along every windowsill. Other than Santa’s grotto and the igloo belonging to his friend, Mo, there isn’t much to do except playing in the snow. Sometimes (just to stay in bed), Santa pretends not to hear his clock alarm – then he can spend all morning tossing and turning in the warm. He shoos Gerome the gnome of to the garden shed and make a hot lemony brew from the water bottle of whiskey that he keeps hidden underneath the bed. With a spoonful of medicine and a pill, he makes a quick recovery from his Winter chill. Jumping up and down only wrecks the floorboards, it’s true – so wrapping up snugly is the only thing left to do. Santa encourages the reindeer to do just the same – for a carrot prize, he devised a game. Naturally, before long, amongst them was a championship winner (Rudolph, who else ? was two inches thinner !). Unfortunately, in the championship cup, there was sherry – so the winning party was extra – ordinairily merry ! The gnomes cracked up, in just one sup from the cracked cup and soon, eveyone gave a first prize “hiccup ! hiccup !”. Santa pinned a red rosette on Rudolph’s furry coat … then hurried off to start delivering presents, hoping Rudolph wasn’t too worn out (there was an anthem to sing, but no – one could sing a note). The Christmas that Santa entered the Grand National race, was faster than ever before – his points were so high, no – one could score ! Santa being a jockey was really a year to remember – they played polo all December. A lucky horse shoe was his souvenir … and something warm on the ground (which Mrs. Christmas said he shouldn’t go near).

The Christmas that Santa learned to horse race, there were footprints in the snow, all over the place ! As Santa ran around the farmyard and back, there was a trail of size nines, making a Pennines track. Nine had always been Santa’s favourite number – because after nine hours sleep, he arose from slumber. When the nights became dark and grim – Santa sat by the medals polishing the medals … remembering when he (not his chances !) were slim.

Rumba ! Rumba ! Santa’s Favourite Pen – 9’s Number !

At 999, 999 mph, boy, Rudolph could go ! so (despite the snow), it was hardly a surprise that Santa won a prize called “The Best Reindeer In Reindeers”.

Devise 10 sums that all include the number 9.

© Jacqueline Richards 2008

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