Archive for The Animals In Jack’s Beanstalk

The Honky Tonky Donkey and The Funky Clunky Monkey


Because he spent so much time on the beach, listening to the radio,

The honky tonky donkey could sing and dance well enough to be in a rodeo.

The minute that the volume got turned up (even higher than the heat !),

The honky tonky monkey tapped his feet to the beat.

He shook, rattled and rolled so much, he lost his sunglasses on the street !

You could often find him paddling in the tide, singing to his heart’s content,

(well, he had to find some way of paying the rent !).

Sixties hits were his favourites …

When his stereo was blasting loud, sitting down wasn’t allowed !

He wriggled so much, he almost fell out of his shorts –

He even won a dance competition in the school sports !

Soon, the honky tonky monkey’s sunhat fell off,

And it wasn’t at all because the sea was too rough !

But because his disco – teching was hot stuff and he couldn’t stop till he got enough !

From the circus, a monkey came,

Who’d heard all about the honky tonky monkey’s musical game.

But the monkey didn’t have any rythmn at all –

When he started to sing, the pictures fell off the wall !

Whenever he tried to do the “monkey funk !”,

He broke the stereo and all that happened was an out – of – tune “CLUNK !”

No wonder that the monkey was so out of time :

He couldn’t get any of the words in his hit song to rhyme,

Yet, even though their CD collection was really rather scratched,

The honky tonky donkey and the funky clunky monkey were incredibly well – matched !

Together they tried to sing like a bird,

Eventually, it was the sweetest honky tonk sound ever heard !   






That Tune In One !

In this spelling game, each class member writes the name of their favourite song on cards, which are then collected by the teacher. Acting as adjudicator, each song title is read out but omits one word from each song title. One point is scored for their team, if the player,
a) guesses the missing word correctly quickest
b) spells it correctly.
There are two maximum points that can be scored in each round.

A Flat to G Sharp

Imagine each of the words, taken from the text above, is sung, instead of written in the musical keys A to F. The correct key that the song should be sung in is the missing letter – guess how to spell the word correctly for a point for your team … but all players must sing their answers !

1. Becaus__

2. be __ ch

3. listening to the ra __ io

4. dan __ e

5. volum __

6. tapped his feet to the __ eat

7. s __ nging to his heart’s content

8. st __ reo

9. __ ance competition

10. musi __ al game.

11. sin __

12. an out – o __ – tune “__LUNK !”

13. wor __ s in his __ it song

14. __ D coll __ ction

15. the sweetest honky tonk sound __ v __r heard !

© Jacqueline Richards 2008
Answers :  1. E ; 2. A ; 3. D ; 4. C ; 5. E ; 6. B ; 7. I ; 8. E ; 9. D ; 10. C ; 11. G ; 12. F, C ; 13. D, H ; 14. C, E ; 15. E, E


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The Didgeridoo & The Kangeroo General Numbers Trivia Quiz


Hardly surprising that the kangeroo really blew it,

When he bought a maths pen for an exam, but couldn’t unscrew it,

He bought some gum, but couldn’t chew it,

Luckily, the roo, had a loose screw ! everybody knew it !

He met with a maths moose, who knew what to do,

What could he do, the kangeroo ?

Other than dance to his didgeridoo !

(But thank heavens it was a habit that he quickly outgrew !).

With each of these maths equations, ther is a clue …

1. The number of tonnes used to fill teeth per. year = 6000 / 100 = ?

2. Not such a great romantic ! the length of time that Rudolph Valentino stayed married = 100 / 10 – 4 = ?

3. According to a global survey, only 35% of British women would consider botox – 28 % more than Italian women. What % of Italian women would and wouldn’t consider having surgical interventions ?

4. The year that iced tea was invented = 2000 – (200) 4 – 6 = ?

5. The age of the world’s oldest tortoise = 376 / 2 = ?

6. One hour of cleaning burns this number of calories = one quarter of 1400 = ?

7. How many minutes that you have to walk to burn 100 calories = 20 % of 100 = ?

8. The largest European size = 160 / 4 – 2 = ?

9. In Poker, “a dead man’s hand” is made up of 5 cards – the 4 of clubs, a pair of aces, a pair of other cards, too, lost by the kangeroo = (0.2) 40 = ?

10. When life begins = 400 / 10 = ?

11. The year of the first stamp collection = 5000 – 3159 = ?

12. The number of the motorway running East to West across Britain = 31 x 2 = ?

© Jacqueline Richards 2008


Answers :
1. 600

2. 6

3. a) 63 % b) 37%

4. 1904

5. 188

6. 350

7. 20 mins.

8. 38

9. 8

10. 40

11. 1841

12. 62



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The Poor Porcupine

The poor porcupine was so poor that he had to stitch together the tears in his trousers using pine needles that he found on the forest floor. So poor that he couldn’t afford so much as a small nail to pin up a mirror on the door ! He was so poor that he had to ride in a shopping basket when he went to market, (he couldn’t afford a car – and anyway, if he could, he probably couldn’t have afforded the car park fees to park it !). The poor porcupine often skipped lunch … so next to all his friends, he was thinnest of the bunch. The poor porcupine never had any money … he even had to borrow a penny for a parasol – umbrella when the weather was sunny ! Lucily, the poor porcupine didn’t have a gas meter, since he really was such a penny – less creature ! He disappeared often in the woods, under the trees, and re – appeared with a “CRUNCH !”, as he rolled around in the leaves.

But his poverty didn’t bother the poor porcupine that much … he didn’t even care if he couldn’t afford to pay his laundry bills, when he got covered in slutch ! Because he suddenly developed a Midas touch ! Then he found, after rolling around on the ground, in mud, attached to his spikes were many riches from the wood. The poor porcupine especially liked going outside when the weather was damp – because then he acquired on his spikes, goodies left by a tramp !

Off the poor porcupine headed into town … there was a diamond on his belly when he looked down ! As he stomped along the street, he soon picked up lost coins, on his furry feet. Leaving footprints as he went, meant he soon had enough cash to pay the rent ! If the poor porcupine rolled over in the gutter, on his prickles, he soon had enough litter to pay for his lunchtime bread and butter. He picked up a lucky lottery ticket, dropped by a money spider when he’d had a flutter : yes, you guessed it … worth all the right numbers for a bonus hit ! Hoping that his good fortune wouldn’t run out, the poor porcupine regularly began to roll about, whenever he was out … it wasn’t long before he’d amassed enough loot, to fill a whole treasure chest in which jewels and riches could be put ! Life soon became considerably more blessed (the poor porcupine found that rolling around outside the bank on the high Street was best !). At first, it seemed that it was fool’s gold … but the poor porcupine picked up more than he could hold (and on the market, his treasure could be sold !). So the poor porcupine didn’t care if he got mucky – on his spikes he struck gold – he really was quite lucky ! All around his prickly collar – he stuck on three dimes, two nickels and a dollar. Whether the poor porcupine was just putting on weight, or whether it was just all the rubbish he’d collected at the park gate, there was no way of telling … when the poor porcupine re – appeared, it was with considerable swelling ! In fact, after an afternoon, basking in the Sun on the church wall, the porcupine could hardly be seen at all !


The Poor Porcupine’s Roll Over Jackpot

The values of each of the treasures picked up on the poor porcupine’s spikes are listed below. Write down as mathematical equations, as many different combinations of goods to make the poor porcupine into a millionaire. What would he need to pick up on his spikes ?

A can of fizzy pop – 35 p

A diamond – £50, 000

A ruby – £5, 000

A pearl – £10, 000

A bunch of flowers – £3.99

A chocolate – 25 p


Money Talks

In the story above, in what order did the poor porcupine pick up the following items ?

lost coins

a dollar

three dimes

lucky lottery ticket

a diamond

two nickels

riches from the wood

goodies left by a tramp

© Jacqueline Richards 2008

Answers :

Game 2 : riches from the wood ; goodies left by a tramp ; a diamond ; lost coins ; lucky lottery ticket ; three dimes ; two nickels ; a dollar.


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The Spell It Ferret


In Jacks’ beanstalk, there was once a ferret who had a lovely fur coat,

But the ferret wouldn’t share it, at all with the goat,

The goat couldn’t bear it, having no lovely fur coat, he really couldn’t wear it,

So the goat brought his jacket, but he really couldn’t spare it.

Got It ?

How many words can you think of that include the word “it” ?

A Strange Change From “It” to “Et” …

How many words can you think of that begin and end in the letters “et” ?

© Jacqueline Richards 2008

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The Babboon and the Hullaballoo Balloon


The baboon was sleeping in the jungle one day, snoring loudly as baboons do in their own baboon way. When suddenly the coconut leaves flew apart and the baboon awoke with a baffling start. Perhaps a coconut or a snake had dropped, but all of a sudden, his snoring stopped. Something had dropped right on his head and knocked the baboon right out of his bed. The baboon boo – hooed “OUCH !” in pain, and asked the gorilla to stop the rain. The gorilla replied that it wasn’t a rain cloud at all, “What on Earth was it then ?”, the baboon cried out loud. The hullabaloo soon drew quite a crowd. When the pair looked up, something had eclipsed the Sun and the tops of trees had almost gone. It seemed that the night had come too soon – but the thing in the sky wasn’t the moon. The baboon felt a real buffoon. As the snakes hissed on the jungle floor, the gorilla and the baboon looked a bit more. The gorilla went to get his spectacles to get a better view. The baboon quickly realised he needed his telescope, too. High in the clouds, descending from above, was a big, red balloon that had given the clouds a shove. One of the crocs who came for a look fell off his rock in total shock. Then the baboon called to the chimp to look at the sight – to bring a string and hold the balloon tight. The jungle animals went off on a search, almost knocking the parrot off his perch. Soon the animals gave up all hope, of ever finding a suitable rope. Along came an ape who said a stick might do the trick … but a fish disagreed and said a fishing rod would be much better. When the baboon tried to catch the balloon, he fell and ended up considerably wetter. A colourful bird flew overhead and wondered why the gorilla was not in his bed. Soon, after he crash landed and banged his head, the bird spent a week nursing ruffled feathers, a broken wing and very crumbled bread. The hippos roared an applaud as usually they spent their days in the jungle quite bored. The balloon bounced out of reach. It flew over the trees and landed on the beach. The gamekeeper came and shot the balloon with his gun and now the baboon’s ballooning days were all gone. It only took one shot to bring down the whole lot. What a jungle hullabaloo they created, now that the balloon was no longer inflated.

© Jacqueline Richards 2007

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The Pigeon Who Couldn’t Find The Right Pigeonhole


One day, Jack was rather excited – all the beanstalk was in a flurry.

It was Jack’s beanstalk, so breakfast had to hurry.

He was expecting a card from His Aunt Lil,

So Jack impatiently waited by the windowsill.

The pigeon postman flew by in the sky,

Narrowly missing Farmer Giles’ pig sty,

He had in the sack on his back, parcels for Jack,

So made a soft landing in Farmer Gile’s haystack.

As he scared the chickens, Farmer Giles gave chase,

So the pigeon quickly climbed up the ladder, looking for the right place.

Accidentally delivering the card to the hole made by the mole,

The pigeon wished he’d brought his spectacles to look for the pigeonhole.

He stopped off at the beanstalk treee house,

But the birthday card wouldn’t fit in the hole for the mouse,

Still, he couldn’t find Jack and the right pigeonhole,

He tried posting the letter in the rabbit warren, but it was like a missing goal.

The bird’s nest had no letterbox,

So at the spider’s web, the pigeon gave one of his postman knocks …

What happened next ?

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The Elephant Who Got A Conker Stuck Up His Conk !


The elephant in Chuckle Buckle’s circus was bonkers about conkers ! Every Autumn, he was usually found to be, in the garden, looking for conkers beneath the old oak tree. To keep themselves busy in the cold weather, the squirrels who lived in Jack’s beanstalk were having an acorn and conker championship, though one or two got lost in the heather. This year was particularly better than ever – the elephant used his trunk to collect litter – but what he vacuum cleaned up caused quite a titter. The squirrels roared when they saw what the elephant had picked up – three crisp packets, two empty cans of coke and a torn paper cup. The elephant had been searching for conkers all afternoon – hardly expecting one to slip up his nostril so soon ! Now, every time he sang, he was hopelessly out of tune ! All the elephant did was sniff … he hoovered up a conker and now couldn’t whiff ! Although he did try to blow his nose, with such a big trunk, the handkerchief was soon full of holes ! The other elephants in Chuckle Buckle’s circus all thought that he was as drunk as a skunk … especially when he started roaring (hopelessly off key) through his trunk ! His long elephant tusks were shiny and bright … no wonder that his toothache kept him awake half the night ! But the next time that the elephant went to sneeze, nothing came out (except a wheeze with no breeze !). His usual bungle in the jungle was now more of a jumbled up bumble than a rumble. He only roared with a snort and didn’t sound at all like elephants ought.


Stuck Up The Trunk of Jack’s Beanstalk Maths !

1. If the elephant picked up many more leaves than he did conkers, in a ratio of 2 : 5. If he picked up 400 : conkers, how many leaves did he pick up ?

2. On average, the elephant picked up one conker every 25 metres. How many conkers is that in 5 km ?

3. The elephant dropped 20 % of the 300 conkers that he picked up.a) How many is that ?

b) How many conkers did he have left ?

4. If the conker was stuck one fifth of the way up the elephant’s trunk (50 cm), how long was his trunk ? Give your answer in cm and m.

5. Work out the area of the elephant’s giant, square handkerchief, if it measured 5 metres long and 5 metres wide.

6. When the elephant sneezed, he blew Jack up the beanstalk at a speed of 25 metres / minute. It took Jack 5 minutes to land on the top of the beanstalk. Therefore, how high was the beanstalk ?

7. The beanstalk had 50 squirrels, each collected 50 acorns – how many acorns is that in total ?

8. The elephant collected three times as many conkers as all the squirrels’ acorns. How many conkers is that ?

9. The elephant sneezed three times. The third sneeze was 150 decibels louder than the first, which was 250 decibels. How loud was the third sneeze ?

10. To ease his toothache, the elephant took one painkiller every four hours. How long did a bottle of 100 pills last ? Give your answer in minutes, hours and days.


Bonkers Conkers !

1. Roll the “o” into these words, where the elephant has sniffed it out. See if you can spell them correctly, once the missing conker has been replaced.

2. Group together the words with the same sound (there should be five in each set).

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooZM LST










































© Jacqueline Richards 2007

Answers :1. 1000

2. 5000 / 25 = 200

3. a) 60 b) 300 – 60 = 240

4. 5 x 50 = 250 cm = 2.5 m

5. 5 x 5 = 25 cm 2

6. 25 x 5 = 125 m

7. 50 x 50 = 2, 500 acorns

8. 2, 500 x 3 = 7, 500

9. 250 + 150 = 400 decibels

10. 100 x 4 = 400 hours = 16.6 days = 16 days and 14.4 hours = 16 days, 14 hours and 24 minutes

Answers :











































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